Dear Woman-Sitting-Very-Close-to-Me,
I'm writing about an incident that happened on our flight from Washington, DC to Dallas-Fort Worth. It was brought to mind as I passed through the deli section at the grocery store this morning.
You seem like a perfectly lovely woman. I truly mean that. It's always a nice idea to start off the plane trip with a little giggle about legroom. Testing the temperament of the folks you sit between is a strategy I use often as it could be vital to your survival. A bit of advice for next time, though. If you are as big as a tree, please check in extra early so you can choose a good seat and not jam in between us.
Also, that salami log you're gnoshing on looks really good. No. Seriously. I love meat just as much as the next girl. But here's the thing. That smell? Believe me, the last thing you want to do is upset the delicate balance between the turbulence and my stomach. I've been working on techniques to keep my cookies down for a very long time, but your weird snack is going to undo all of that effort in one fell swoop. There are two kinds of food in this world: airplane and non-airplane. Let's put together a quick and dirty guide for future reference. I'll print it out and stick in your bag for you. You can thank me later.
Non-airplane
Anchovies
Salami logs
Egg salad
Kimchi
Airplane
Cashews
Carrots
Salami between two pieces of bread with lettuce and tomato
M&Ms (if you share, otherwise, they are strictly non-airplane)
Grey area
Tuna
For future reference, if it needs to be refrigerated, it deserves a second and third thought before stuffing it into your string pack. Also, that arm rest is not actually for you to put your arm on. I know, it is deceiving, but the simple fact is that when you have to put three people in a row that arm rest magically transforms into a buffer zone only.
So, in closing I want you know that I intend no malice toward you and your pocket o' cough drops draped on my lap. Yes, a fistful of meat is an appetizing snack. But hey, we're all in this plane together. Let's work together to make it not suck so bad.
Sincerely,
Julie
Monday, October 26, 2009
An open letter to my airplane neighbor
Friday, October 09, 2009
Shout out
(Preface: Look at me, hopping back into blogging as if nothing had ever happened...wait, nothing has happened around these parts for a very long time. My apologies. More posting to come soon. I think my muse is afoot.)
My good friend Kelli over at Aspasian Aspirations is smarter than you. And by "you" I mean me. I deeply respect her for the time she spends thinking through issues and formulating thoughtful responses. Her desire to honestly wrestle with real questions about faith and life make her a wise woman to turn to when you want to think deeply and not get the cliched "Christian" answers or "God is a Republican" crud. You should read her blog, starting with this post right here. And leave comments. It's good for us bloggers to engage in conversation. Thanks for your insights, Kelli! And thanks for all those late night discussions.
Monday, November 10, 2008
My Calling
Holy. Cow. I want this in the worst way, even though it's not really my decorating taste: http://www.jonburgerman.com/Work/comments/colour_in_wallpaper/
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Weighing in
Everyone and their brother has been blogging, Twittering, journaling or arguing the election results from last Tuesday. I tried to keep my thoughts inside, only discussing with those I felt would really agree or understand my point of view because I just didn't feel like arguing or debating anymore. Those that know me will be shocked to find out that it is possible. But watching everything unfold has brought a couple of recurring thoughts to my mind, and I really have to get my thoughts down and make my peace with the issue. With that said, please read to the bottom of the post before clicking away. My final takeaway may surprise you.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
I've just fallen in love with a bunch of new music, so I'm going to give them a little (and according to my Google Analytics, I do mean little) free publicity in hopes that you fall in love as well.
White Winter Hymnal from Grandchildren on Vimeo.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
First Amendment Tuesday
The creepy thing about this video is that NBC has been pulling them down from every place it's been hosted for "re-editing". Apparently it's too heavy on the Democratic Party criticism. You know, too even-handed and putting blame on both sides of the aisle.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Ambiguity '08
Living in DC means people "from away" (to use a Maine term) often assume you have some secret, insider's knowledge on the political scene. And if I'm asked one more time if I've seen the President or a terrorist, I'll be giving them wrong directions to the Washington Monument. Several people have asked me to write about my thoughts on the current presidential race. Which candidate do I feel is the most genuine, or offers the most hope or change? Obama or McCain? Conservative or liberal? Democrat or Republican? Like music and movie reviews, I'm never really sure why my opinion really matters that much, other than for good conversation or debate (which I love). But of course my ego soon wakes up and dives into the ring before I have the chance to stop it.
I think I'll make a bumper sticker. I'll put it next to this one. (Picture courtesy of www.werescrewed08.com)
Friday, June 13, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Link-dump Friday
We're all about sharin' the love here at We Are Lumberjacks. Every now and again, we stumble upon things that are just too awesome to keep to ourselves. Also, it helps build traffic. So our motives aren't completely altruistic.
For the ears:
If I can accomplish one thing of mediocre significance through this blog, it would be to have you rocking out and loving The Avett Brothers as much as I do. I haven't felt this way about a band since I first heard Nickel Creek. And believe me, that was pretty weird.
I would commit more than one illegal act to see these guys in concert. If you aren't listening to The Avett Brothers, you aren't listening to music. And if you aren't listening to music, you are probably kind of lame. The Avett Brothers
For the mind:
I love listening to talking on the radio, especially NPR; an issue for which I have my dad to thank. They have the most amazing and attention-grabbing stories and programs, and tons of podcasts that you can download for free from their website. A good portion of these are clogging up my iPod because I just can't force myself to get rid of that lobotomy story from 2 years ago. But the one on my "most listened to" playlist is WNYC's Radiolab. Hosts Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich artfully weave snippets of sounds, stories and science into an hour show that explores the depths of many topics we take for granted such as laughter (why do we laugh, how does it affect us), deception, the fine line between talking and singing, etc. My favorites so far are "War of the Worlds" and "Salle Des Depart" (a musician is comissioned by a city morgue to compose music for family members who are called to identify a body - the most haunting/sad/beautiful piece of music I have ever heard). It really is fascinating. Eat up, children! WNYC's Radiolab
For the Amish (and perhaps Ryan R.):
Low-tech PDAs. Pocketmods
For the soul (and the wallet):
Good Experience has a great, somewhat dated post about business with meaning. They could teach the RED Campaign a thing or two. Lasermonks
For the conscience:
Wasteful person that I am, this made me cringe and feel very, very guilty. I hope it does you. Chris Jordan
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
It's a generational thing
During our bi-weekly book discussion/Bible study group this week we started talking about the idea of "generational sin." That is, a specific sin issue that is passed on to you by your parents, who learned it from their parents, and what you will most likely, if not addressed, teach to your children. In some families it is maintaining control while other families may struggle with worry or forgiveness. This is a pretty new idea to me, so I was pondering it over last night, along with many other things that seem to be taking up a bit of brain space as of late. And I think I've come to at least a cursory conclusion as to the most prominent generational issue I've inherited: a taste for fake crab meat.
I'm sorry, Mom. It had to be told.